You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
