I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
