the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's like heaven, but drunker
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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