just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
