So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
