I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
