First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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