There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
