I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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