His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
