ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
