just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
