Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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