I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He better not be in your backpack
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
