I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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