her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
