I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
