Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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