did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
