You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
