That's when you crack a 10am beer
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
