woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
