I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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