Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
