You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
