Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
