we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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