Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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