hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Still dying that you shit outside
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
