a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
