Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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