there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
