Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
