Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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