i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
