He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
