I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
