Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
