do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
