then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
