I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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