doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it's great music for shaving your balls
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
