It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
