my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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