My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
