So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
