I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
