i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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