He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
