Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
only if we run a train.
done.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
