Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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