Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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