ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
